Lonely. The word sounds weird when I apply it to myself. For me, it's 12:47am. Our nurse is out of town on a personal matter so I'm up watching my daughter sleep. She eats overnight via a feeding pump and someone has to monitor her breathing in case she plugs her trach. So tonight that's me. She's asleep now. The wife is upstairs in bed. Our jack russell mix is laying on the carpet by the TV.
I'm suddenly overcome by a feeling of loneliness. I talk to a couple of women online at times, and I've been talking to them tonight. Well, kind of. One was/is at work (night job at a national chain store), another is at work as a home nurse, and the third I talked to quite a bit. I'll call the third woman "D". D lives a few states away and we've been talking for a long time. Strictly online. We've had many sexual discussions. We've been on cam together. I've watched her slide her dildo in and out of her pussy and she's watched me jerk my cock and cum for her. She talks about other guys. That's OK. I'm married, I think we're even. The past few days though she was kind of complaining that all the guys she talks to just want to talk about sex. It's true I'm always fucking horny, but I would never force anything (physical contact, or talk) on anyone. She's very flirty and certainly seems to enjoy fun, dirty comments. We've talked about it before. So I've been telling her that she basically just needs to say that she doesn't want to have that discussion or talk that way at that point with any guy and they should change their tone. I told her to do that with me. I wouldn't be offended or anything like that, it would be silly. So I've been on the best behavior I can be. Tonight though she gives me a somewhat detailed account of how she was watching another guy get off on cam. I don't normally mind that, I find it pretty hot and usually get turned on; but it just wasn't sitting the same way with me tonight. It just made me feel kind of sad.
I'm not sure I can even put my emotion into words. It's kind of a hollow, empty feeling. I've been jealous, and this isn't it. It's weird. Kind of melancholy... I'm very relaxed... slumped shoulders, lack of caring about things... I'm sure it'll pass. I don't enjoy it.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Weekend Nooner
I meant to write over the weekend but I ended up jerking off every time I was alone with the PC. Sorry. The allure of seeing naked women is too much.
I did manage to find some time alone with the wife to have sex though. She told her sister we were trying to clean and our kiddo was destroying everything after we cleaned it up. If you have kids you KNOW that really happens. So I dropped my little girl off (my sister-in-law is only a couple blocks away) and zoomed back home. I saw my wife's clothes trailing up the stairs... so mine joined hers. The bedroom was dark since the blinds had been drawn, but I could clearly see my wife laying on the bed on her back, rubbing her pussy for me. No invitation needed, I dropped down and started eating her out. I know I should probably say getting a blowjob is my favorite thing since I'm a guy, but really I think my favorite sex act is giving oral. God I love licking pussy. I love everything about it, especially how she writhes as I slide my tongue into her and lick her clit. One of my favorite positions is to lay between her legs and slide my hands under her legs and up around, pulling her to me. That way I can easily put more pressure on her, or squeeze her, or run my hands up her body and play with her nipples and breasts. I brought her to the edge a dozen times or so before finally letting her orgasm explode. She doesn't squirt but was wet enough that I couldn't tell the difference LOL.
I crawled up beside her and sucked on her nipples for a few minutes before rolling over and letting her deep throat my hard dick. Honestly, she doesn't give me too many blowjobs. She's pretty good at it, but apparently I take too long and she gets tired and then frustrated. So I'm trying to get her to understand that she CAN suck me without it being a whole big thing. A few minutes, in my mind, is fucking better then nothing. So she blew me for a bit while I rubbed her. Then I pushed her up and onto her back before pulling her legs together and up against my chest as I thrust into her. We both love that position. Her legs together on my chest so she forms a "L" shape as I fuck her. I can get very deep inside her that way. That day I felt like using long, slow strokes, alternating with bursts of quick short jabs into her. Her steady moans would grow louder and more urgent with each of those bursts. I was pushing so hard I practically pushed her off the bed! I pulled her back though and kept impaling her. I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm got an amazing gift of stamina or The World's Biggest Cock. I don't and I don't. I'm average sized; 6 to 7 inches. I get bigger the hornier I am. I usually last around 10 minutes or so unless I'm really trying to control myself. My problem is that the more excited she gets, the more excited I get.
Back in the beginning of our relationship I used to be able to give her 7 or 8 small orgasms when we made love. I'd just keep plowing through them as her pussy tightened around me each time. I can't do that anymore. I'm not sure why... Now she has at least one big orgasm during actual penetration. Sometimes I can't even keep going because she's moving around so much! So she had her second orgasm of the day under me. That set me off and I came into her. A lot. This was around 4pm or so and I hadn't jerked off that day. So I was definitely full. Normally I cum a lot, and fill back up pretty quickly. After I finished cumming and the blood stopped pounding in my ears I could hear her almost cooing. Now, about half the time I can keep going and have a second orgasm in a couple of minutes. You guess it, this was one of those times! I pulled her legs around me and leaning over her, using her shoulder to hold her steady as I started fucking her again. She pulled me into her as I pulled back out and pushed into her as hard as I could. I kept up that way for a couple of minutes. Pulling out and forcing myself back into her tight hole as hard as I could. She loves it hard and the harder the better. She came again as I had my second. Certainly not as much as the first for me, really just mostly the feeling and sensations of it. Still amazing though. I fell off her onto the bed as we both tried to catch our breath.
She got up after a couple of minutes and went into the shower to clean up, with me getting in when she got out. My legs still weren't working too well at that point. Then we went to find her a new phone cover LOL. Have you ever wondered which people you see when you go out might have just had sex? Ever? I wonder all the time. I see a woman and wonder if some guy was just entering her from behind, or I see a guy and wondered if he just got his dick sucked by his girlfriend in his car.
On that note I'm going back to work. I might as well get done what I can before I have to jerk off again LOL.
I did manage to find some time alone with the wife to have sex though. She told her sister we were trying to clean and our kiddo was destroying everything after we cleaned it up. If you have kids you KNOW that really happens. So I dropped my little girl off (my sister-in-law is only a couple blocks away) and zoomed back home. I saw my wife's clothes trailing up the stairs... so mine joined hers. The bedroom was dark since the blinds had been drawn, but I could clearly see my wife laying on the bed on her back, rubbing her pussy for me. No invitation needed, I dropped down and started eating her out. I know I should probably say getting a blowjob is my favorite thing since I'm a guy, but really I think my favorite sex act is giving oral. God I love licking pussy. I love everything about it, especially how she writhes as I slide my tongue into her and lick her clit. One of my favorite positions is to lay between her legs and slide my hands under her legs and up around, pulling her to me. That way I can easily put more pressure on her, or squeeze her, or run my hands up her body and play with her nipples and breasts. I brought her to the edge a dozen times or so before finally letting her orgasm explode. She doesn't squirt but was wet enough that I couldn't tell the difference LOL.
I crawled up beside her and sucked on her nipples for a few minutes before rolling over and letting her deep throat my hard dick. Honestly, she doesn't give me too many blowjobs. She's pretty good at it, but apparently I take too long and she gets tired and then frustrated. So I'm trying to get her to understand that she CAN suck me without it being a whole big thing. A few minutes, in my mind, is fucking better then nothing. So she blew me for a bit while I rubbed her. Then I pushed her up and onto her back before pulling her legs together and up against my chest as I thrust into her. We both love that position. Her legs together on my chest so she forms a "L" shape as I fuck her. I can get very deep inside her that way. That day I felt like using long, slow strokes, alternating with bursts of quick short jabs into her. Her steady moans would grow louder and more urgent with each of those bursts. I was pushing so hard I practically pushed her off the bed! I pulled her back though and kept impaling her. I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm got an amazing gift of stamina or The World's Biggest Cock. I don't and I don't. I'm average sized; 6 to 7 inches. I get bigger the hornier I am. I usually last around 10 minutes or so unless I'm really trying to control myself. My problem is that the more excited she gets, the more excited I get.
Back in the beginning of our relationship I used to be able to give her 7 or 8 small orgasms when we made love. I'd just keep plowing through them as her pussy tightened around me each time. I can't do that anymore. I'm not sure why... Now she has at least one big orgasm during actual penetration. Sometimes I can't even keep going because she's moving around so much! So she had her second orgasm of the day under me. That set me off and I came into her. A lot. This was around 4pm or so and I hadn't jerked off that day. So I was definitely full. Normally I cum a lot, and fill back up pretty quickly. After I finished cumming and the blood stopped pounding in my ears I could hear her almost cooing. Now, about half the time I can keep going and have a second orgasm in a couple of minutes. You guess it, this was one of those times! I pulled her legs around me and leaning over her, using her shoulder to hold her steady as I started fucking her again. She pulled me into her as I pulled back out and pushed into her as hard as I could. I kept up that way for a couple of minutes. Pulling out and forcing myself back into her tight hole as hard as I could. She loves it hard and the harder the better. She came again as I had my second. Certainly not as much as the first for me, really just mostly the feeling and sensations of it. Still amazing though. I fell off her onto the bed as we both tried to catch our breath.
She got up after a couple of minutes and went into the shower to clean up, with me getting in when she got out. My legs still weren't working too well at that point. Then we went to find her a new phone cover LOL. Have you ever wondered which people you see when you go out might have just had sex? Ever? I wonder all the time. I see a woman and wonder if some guy was just entering her from behind, or I see a guy and wondered if he just got his dick sucked by his girlfriend in his car.
On that note I'm going back to work. I might as well get done what I can before I have to jerk off again LOL.
Friday, August 16, 2013
The Talk
Two nights ago I didn't have sex. Wife and I were going to, but didn't. Instead we watched some movie while I "tried" to start things.
A little more about myself... I'm a very... thoughtful guy. Sometimes I think too much about what I'm doing and how it will affect her. When I think too much I tend to not do ANYthing. It's terrible. I get very frustrated with myself because I fucked it up. I mean I know it's my fault. She's laying there with her legs spread a little bit over my legs and letting me touch her pretty much anywhere I want, but I don't. I end up wondering if it's too soon to finger her (because she's said she needs to "get out of mommy mode" before she can do anything). So I wonder how soon it takes to get out of mommy mode, and I don't rub her pussy like I want to. I could reach up and play with her breasts. She's a 48DD and I LOVE her boobs. Love them. Love love love love love, but not to the exclusion of all else, and she knows they're not the reason I love her. I don't play with those either though because the night before she said she didn't want to me start something "by just playing with her tits all night." So I remembered that and I didn't want to just rub her breasts.
So all of that went into me essentially just rubbing her legs and belly for two whole hours. Yep. FOR TWO HOURS I FUCKED THINGS UP. When we finally went to sleep around 1:45 she says, "So I guess I won't get my hopes up when you say we're going to have sex." What the fuck? Who says that? Does that piss anyone else off like it does me? Not only do I know it's my fault, but now she wants to throw in a jibe about it? I do not say things in anger. I don't. Once you say something you can't take it back no matter how much you apologize. It's been said. So I didn't say anything; I want to sleep. What could I have said that wouldn't have been filled with anger? That's not me. Sure I get angry, but I don't lash out or make comments like that. I know she was disappointed but handle it another fucking way!
So that was two nights ago. Last night we went out for a drive to talk. We do that sometimes after the nurse gets there when we have to discuss something important. So I basically took all the blame for everything. Once she said what she was doing it was obvious I was the problem. Every time she got up, she was up on her hands and knees for me and I didn't touch her. She wasn't covering her boobs with her arms (basically blocking me from getting to them). She wasn't stopping me and didn't say anything about being tired or not wanting to do anything. So it was all my fault and I know it. It's not like I had any doubts before that though. I was fully aware it was my problem.
I just don't know why the fuck I do it. Most of the time I'm ready to stick my dick in anything that moves. Yesterday I had to restrain myself from slapping a coworkers ass when she bent over in a tight pair of jeans. I mean I'm horny ALLLLLLLLL the time. So of course I mess it up when I get the chance to actually slip my dick in her. So it was a very sucky couple of nights.
We talked and went home. Usually after those talks we bone for an hour, but I was really exhausted. I was just exhausted with being frustrated with myself. It's be easier if I could point to something and say, "Aha! YOU'RE the reason I think too much. YOU'RE the fucker screwing with me." I can't though. It just happens. No sex tonight or this weekend because we don't have a nurse, so I'll have to watch the kiddo all night. Maybe Monday... Who knows?
A little more about myself... I'm a very... thoughtful guy. Sometimes I think too much about what I'm doing and how it will affect her. When I think too much I tend to not do ANYthing. It's terrible. I get very frustrated with myself because I fucked it up. I mean I know it's my fault. She's laying there with her legs spread a little bit over my legs and letting me touch her pretty much anywhere I want, but I don't. I end up wondering if it's too soon to finger her (because she's said she needs to "get out of mommy mode" before she can do anything). So I wonder how soon it takes to get out of mommy mode, and I don't rub her pussy like I want to. I could reach up and play with her breasts. She's a 48DD and I LOVE her boobs. Love them. Love love love love love, but not to the exclusion of all else, and she knows they're not the reason I love her. I don't play with those either though because the night before she said she didn't want to me start something "by just playing with her tits all night." So I remembered that and I didn't want to just rub her breasts.
So all of that went into me essentially just rubbing her legs and belly for two whole hours. Yep. FOR TWO HOURS I FUCKED THINGS UP. When we finally went to sleep around 1:45 she says, "So I guess I won't get my hopes up when you say we're going to have sex." What the fuck? Who says that? Does that piss anyone else off like it does me? Not only do I know it's my fault, but now she wants to throw in a jibe about it? I do not say things in anger. I don't. Once you say something you can't take it back no matter how much you apologize. It's been said. So I didn't say anything; I want to sleep. What could I have said that wouldn't have been filled with anger? That's not me. Sure I get angry, but I don't lash out or make comments like that. I know she was disappointed but handle it another fucking way!
So that was two nights ago. Last night we went out for a drive to talk. We do that sometimes after the nurse gets there when we have to discuss something important. So I basically took all the blame for everything. Once she said what she was doing it was obvious I was the problem. Every time she got up, she was up on her hands and knees for me and I didn't touch her. She wasn't covering her boobs with her arms (basically blocking me from getting to them). She wasn't stopping me and didn't say anything about being tired or not wanting to do anything. So it was all my fault and I know it. It's not like I had any doubts before that though. I was fully aware it was my problem.
I just don't know why the fuck I do it. Most of the time I'm ready to stick my dick in anything that moves. Yesterday I had to restrain myself from slapping a coworkers ass when she bent over in a tight pair of jeans. I mean I'm horny ALLLLLLLLL the time. So of course I mess it up when I get the chance to actually slip my dick in her. So it was a very sucky couple of nights.
We talked and went home. Usually after those talks we bone for an hour, but I was really exhausted. I was just exhausted with being frustrated with myself. It's be easier if I could point to something and say, "Aha! YOU'RE the reason I think too much. YOU'RE the fucker screwing with me." I can't though. It just happens. No sex tonight or this weekend because we don't have a nurse, so I'll have to watch the kiddo all night. Maybe Monday... Who knows?
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Last time I sucked...
Since I wrote that last post, I can't stop thinking about the last time I actually got to suck a dick. I know, I know... I'm a pretty happily married man. I love my wife. That doesn't mean I don't want things she can't give me though... Do you think that's wrong? I'd say we have a decent sex life. You know when you're in high school and you imagine what your "sex life" will be later on? The adventure and fantasy? The fun and passion you'll feel? Life's been a little dull on those things lately.
I mean we both enjoy having sex with eachother, but I don't usually see her and immediately want her riding my cock. I know that's a rut. We've been in them before. We've been together more than 10 years now, and married for close to 8. Part of the problem is our daughter. With her medical problems it's VERY difficult to find any time alone during the day. Well, basically impossible without someone watching her who can change her trach. She always needs to be supervised and you have to drop what you're doing to suction her if she needs it. She's not quite old enough to do it herself yet. So we can't really sneek a quickie or a preview of things to come because she's always there. The only time we get is when either my sister-in-law can watch my daughter (we trained her on everything) or when the nurse gets there at night (11pm-7am). My wife doesn't want to just ask her sister to come over and watch the kid so we can go up and have sex. She says she feels really weird about it and can't do it. So we wait until the nurse gets there and I've been up since 7 that morning and going to work and working and coming home and watching the kiddo so my wife can do her own things... So I'm tired at 11! We get upstairs and the wife says something like, "Well I guess we can do it if you want to" or "I'm tired but I guess I can give you a handjob if you want."
I'm a horny guy. If you've been reading, you know I'm a VERY horny guy; but there's just something in her tone when she says those things that makes me just want to go to sleep. I used to jump at the offer of a handjob even if I knew she really didn't want to. I'm older now though, and fuck it I want a partner that's enthusiastic about rubbing my cock. I know she's tired, and we're BOTH tired. We've talked about it before. Actually, I'm retracting that statement. Normally she's NOT tired when we go to bed because she takes a nap when the kid takes a nap. She's usually up until 12am or 1am pretty easily most nights.
So anyway, we still have sex; and the sex is still good. I just want more excitement and writing this blog helps with that. I got a bit off topic didn't I.....
The last time I gave a blowjob was about 7 months ago. I had a friend that had been dumped by his girl a couple of months before that. So 9 months ago is when this started. I took him out to get a drink and of course he started talking about her (I knew he would). I thought it might help him get over her a bit. We're out at the bar and he's going on about how great she was and what he missed. I'm paying attention and can't help but feel like I'm in a movie. It could have come out of any "getting over the girl" scene in a bar. He started talking about the sex and how she'd been holding out the last few months before ending it. Well I don't know about holding out, but I can imagine she wouldn't keep having sex with him if she was going to leave. I asked him if she'd even stopped the blowjobs (he had always maintained her blowjobs were amazing), and he said she'd stopped those even before the sex.
He kind of laughed and said he'd been jerking off so much his hand was starting to hurt. We'd been friends for a few years and he kind of knew about some of the things I'd done. Bits had come up in previous conversations. So I let him talk a bit more about the sex he was missing and I finally asked him if he'd like some help with that. I'm not the smoothest person out there. I can be a little awkward and it's not exactly the most normal thing to ask a friend if they'd like some help with their sex life. Anyway, I said it and he asked what I meant. So I said that he knew a little bit about me and what I liked to do, and that I was offering to blow him (notice I didn't say "if he wanted" LOL). He looked a little shocked! We kept talking and didn't come back to the subject the rest of our time there. I hadn't been drinking anything but soda and I had driven him there. We got back in the car and drove back to his house. I pulled into the driveway and said something about hoping he felt better and that if she wanted to leave then he needed to let her go. He'd find another woman that would give him great head.
He got out of the car and walked with that little tipsy stagger across the driveway. He almost got to the door and stopped, then turned around and walked back. I had stayed there to make sure he at least got inside OK. I may be horny but I'm a good friend. He walked to my side so I rolled down the window. He kind of leaned over and said he'd take me up on my offer. I said, "You mean my offer to suck your dick?" His face was priceless. I had never seen him that embarassed! I thought he was going to turn around and walk away so I said I was sorry and that I'd love to "help him out". I asked him when and he said "Now or I'll lose my nerve." So I texted the wife and told her I'd be a bit later than I thought and that he was really having a hard time. Hahahaha... Got out and followed him inside. I've done this a few times for various friends. I mean I've done a few friends a LOT of times. He looked uncomfortable with the whole thing so I asked him if he wanted to leave his clothes on and watch some porn while I did everything for him. That made him look a little better.
I knew where he kept his porn so I pulled out a movie and put it in the DVD player. He was already sitting on the couch when it came on. The porn started and I was kneeling on the floor between his legs. I ran my hand over his crotch and he jumped. I laughed a little bit and said he needed to just calm down and relax. I'd stop anytime he wanted and wouldn't do anything he didn't want me to do. I rubbed him for a few minutes but he was still as stone. I could see his hands clenching his jeans. I sat back and said, "OK, this isn't working like this. Get up and take off your pants and boxers." He looked at me and I replied "Dude you are just too tense. Trust me." Apparently he did because he stood up and I watched him unbutton, then unzip his jeans. He closed his eyes and pushed them and his boxers down. At first I thought he had a small cock, but then I realized he was average sized with really big balls. It was hard to believe they'd be so big with the amount of stroking he said he'd been doing. Before he had a chance to sit back down I leaned forward and opened my mouth around one of his balls. My tongue flicked out and licked his sack as I held it in my mouth with suction. I felt his cock jump a little bit as I broke suction and started licking all over his balls. I was pretty greedy and noise while my tongue rolled his balls around my mouth.
I pushed him back a bit until he sat down on the couch. He was half hard at that point. I pushed his legs apart and moved between them, quickly licking the tip of his dick. He groaned a little as I engulfed his quickly growing cock with my mouth. I LOOOOOVE feeling a cock get hard between my lips. Good god... He was soon fully hard and I went to work on him. Stroking him slowly and then quickly, and slowly again as I sucked and licked all over his head. He was making a lot of noise and I could tell he liked my work... He even got lost enough in it to put his hand on my head. I'd been bobbing and weaving my head on his cock for about 15 minutes when he started saying he was getting close to cumming. With that big sack I knew I was in for a treat. He pushed his ass off the couch and I pushed down on his cock, taking him down my throat as he started cumming. I milked him with my throat as he came what felt like a barrel-full of spooge. Spasm after spasm of jism shot into my belly. Fuck it was tasty......
After he finished I cleaned his cock and sucked on his empty balls a little while longer. Then I sat back and asked him if he liked it. LOL he said fuck yeah he liked it! He asked when I could do it again for him and I asked him when HE could do it again. I made sure he was really OK with it and he said it took a little while but he got over his hangup. Then he just enjoyed it.
I blew him again the next day, and a couple of times the day after that.... I had his cock in my mouth basically every day for 2 months until he was transferred for work. I met him places to swallow his load, his house, my house, his car, parking lots... I was willing to swallow him pretty much anywhere. I let him pick every place he'd ever wanted to do anything. The last blowjob I gave him was out in my hot tub. I'd installed a TV out there and the wife and a friend of hers were out at some function I forget now. He came over and got in. We were very comfortable with eachother at this point so I didn't waste any time in fishing his cock out of his shorts before stroking it. He always got hard very quickly when I touched him *grins*. I pulled him over to me and sucked him into my mouth. He got into my rhythm and was soon fucking my face. I didn't even try to bob at all, I just let him fuck my mouth. Early on I had learned how to deep throat, so now he could thrust all the way into me. He used my mouth for a good 10 minutes before pulling out so he could watch himself cum in my mouth. I opened wide and lapped the bottom of his head before he exploded. Emptying his full balls for me drink. He pumped my face a couple more times before sitting down heavily. We talked about him leaving and he said he'd really miss me blowing him. He got horny enough that I ended up blowing him again before the wife came home LOL. He sat down and I blew and stroked him underwater that time. I stroked him underwater and we both watched him cum. Watched his cum shoot out of his head in what looked like slow motion. Then I pulled him out of the water and licked him clean, plus making sure I dudn't miss any cum *wink*. The wife got home a little while later and we all had dinner.
So that was the last blowjob I gave. I miss doing it.
I mean we both enjoy having sex with eachother, but I don't usually see her and immediately want her riding my cock. I know that's a rut. We've been in them before. We've been together more than 10 years now, and married for close to 8. Part of the problem is our daughter. With her medical problems it's VERY difficult to find any time alone during the day. Well, basically impossible without someone watching her who can change her trach. She always needs to be supervised and you have to drop what you're doing to suction her if she needs it. She's not quite old enough to do it herself yet. So we can't really sneek a quickie or a preview of things to come because she's always there. The only time we get is when either my sister-in-law can watch my daughter (we trained her on everything) or when the nurse gets there at night (11pm-7am). My wife doesn't want to just ask her sister to come over and watch the kid so we can go up and have sex. She says she feels really weird about it and can't do it. So we wait until the nurse gets there and I've been up since 7 that morning and going to work and working and coming home and watching the kiddo so my wife can do her own things... So I'm tired at 11! We get upstairs and the wife says something like, "Well I guess we can do it if you want to" or "I'm tired but I guess I can give you a handjob if you want."
I'm a horny guy. If you've been reading, you know I'm a VERY horny guy; but there's just something in her tone when she says those things that makes me just want to go to sleep. I used to jump at the offer of a handjob even if I knew she really didn't want to. I'm older now though, and fuck it I want a partner that's enthusiastic about rubbing my cock. I know she's tired, and we're BOTH tired. We've talked about it before. Actually, I'm retracting that statement. Normally she's NOT tired when we go to bed because she takes a nap when the kid takes a nap. She's usually up until 12am or 1am pretty easily most nights.
So anyway, we still have sex; and the sex is still good. I just want more excitement and writing this blog helps with that. I got a bit off topic didn't I.....
The last time I gave a blowjob was about 7 months ago. I had a friend that had been dumped by his girl a couple of months before that. So 9 months ago is when this started. I took him out to get a drink and of course he started talking about her (I knew he would). I thought it might help him get over her a bit. We're out at the bar and he's going on about how great she was and what he missed. I'm paying attention and can't help but feel like I'm in a movie. It could have come out of any "getting over the girl" scene in a bar. He started talking about the sex and how she'd been holding out the last few months before ending it. Well I don't know about holding out, but I can imagine she wouldn't keep having sex with him if she was going to leave. I asked him if she'd even stopped the blowjobs (he had always maintained her blowjobs were amazing), and he said she'd stopped those even before the sex.
He kind of laughed and said he'd been jerking off so much his hand was starting to hurt. We'd been friends for a few years and he kind of knew about some of the things I'd done. Bits had come up in previous conversations. So I let him talk a bit more about the sex he was missing and I finally asked him if he'd like some help with that. I'm not the smoothest person out there. I can be a little awkward and it's not exactly the most normal thing to ask a friend if they'd like some help with their sex life. Anyway, I said it and he asked what I meant. So I said that he knew a little bit about me and what I liked to do, and that I was offering to blow him (notice I didn't say "if he wanted" LOL). He looked a little shocked! We kept talking and didn't come back to the subject the rest of our time there. I hadn't been drinking anything but soda and I had driven him there. We got back in the car and drove back to his house. I pulled into the driveway and said something about hoping he felt better and that if she wanted to leave then he needed to let her go. He'd find another woman that would give him great head.
He got out of the car and walked with that little tipsy stagger across the driveway. He almost got to the door and stopped, then turned around and walked back. I had stayed there to make sure he at least got inside OK. I may be horny but I'm a good friend. He walked to my side so I rolled down the window. He kind of leaned over and said he'd take me up on my offer. I said, "You mean my offer to suck your dick?" His face was priceless. I had never seen him that embarassed! I thought he was going to turn around and walk away so I said I was sorry and that I'd love to "help him out". I asked him when and he said "Now or I'll lose my nerve." So I texted the wife and told her I'd be a bit later than I thought and that he was really having a hard time. Hahahaha... Got out and followed him inside. I've done this a few times for various friends. I mean I've done a few friends a LOT of times. He looked uncomfortable with the whole thing so I asked him if he wanted to leave his clothes on and watch some porn while I did everything for him. That made him look a little better.
I knew where he kept his porn so I pulled out a movie and put it in the DVD player. He was already sitting on the couch when it came on. The porn started and I was kneeling on the floor between his legs. I ran my hand over his crotch and he jumped. I laughed a little bit and said he needed to just calm down and relax. I'd stop anytime he wanted and wouldn't do anything he didn't want me to do. I rubbed him for a few minutes but he was still as stone. I could see his hands clenching his jeans. I sat back and said, "OK, this isn't working like this. Get up and take off your pants and boxers." He looked at me and I replied "Dude you are just too tense. Trust me." Apparently he did because he stood up and I watched him unbutton, then unzip his jeans. He closed his eyes and pushed them and his boxers down. At first I thought he had a small cock, but then I realized he was average sized with really big balls. It was hard to believe they'd be so big with the amount of stroking he said he'd been doing. Before he had a chance to sit back down I leaned forward and opened my mouth around one of his balls. My tongue flicked out and licked his sack as I held it in my mouth with suction. I felt his cock jump a little bit as I broke suction and started licking all over his balls. I was pretty greedy and noise while my tongue rolled his balls around my mouth.
I pushed him back a bit until he sat down on the couch. He was half hard at that point. I pushed his legs apart and moved between them, quickly licking the tip of his dick. He groaned a little as I engulfed his quickly growing cock with my mouth. I LOOOOOVE feeling a cock get hard between my lips. Good god... He was soon fully hard and I went to work on him. Stroking him slowly and then quickly, and slowly again as I sucked and licked all over his head. He was making a lot of noise and I could tell he liked my work... He even got lost enough in it to put his hand on my head. I'd been bobbing and weaving my head on his cock for about 15 minutes when he started saying he was getting close to cumming. With that big sack I knew I was in for a treat. He pushed his ass off the couch and I pushed down on his cock, taking him down my throat as he started cumming. I milked him with my throat as he came what felt like a barrel-full of spooge. Spasm after spasm of jism shot into my belly. Fuck it was tasty......
After he finished I cleaned his cock and sucked on his empty balls a little while longer. Then I sat back and asked him if he liked it. LOL he said fuck yeah he liked it! He asked when I could do it again for him and I asked him when HE could do it again. I made sure he was really OK with it and he said it took a little while but he got over his hangup. Then he just enjoyed it.
I blew him again the next day, and a couple of times the day after that.... I had his cock in my mouth basically every day for 2 months until he was transferred for work. I met him places to swallow his load, his house, my house, his car, parking lots... I was willing to swallow him pretty much anywhere. I let him pick every place he'd ever wanted to do anything. The last blowjob I gave him was out in my hot tub. I'd installed a TV out there and the wife and a friend of hers were out at some function I forget now. He came over and got in. We were very comfortable with eachother at this point so I didn't waste any time in fishing his cock out of his shorts before stroking it. He always got hard very quickly when I touched him *grins*. I pulled him over to me and sucked him into my mouth. He got into my rhythm and was soon fucking my face. I didn't even try to bob at all, I just let him fuck my mouth. Early on I had learned how to deep throat, so now he could thrust all the way into me. He used my mouth for a good 10 minutes before pulling out so he could watch himself cum in my mouth. I opened wide and lapped the bottom of his head before he exploded. Emptying his full balls for me drink. He pumped my face a couple more times before sitting down heavily. We talked about him leaving and he said he'd really miss me blowing him. He got horny enough that I ended up blowing him again before the wife came home LOL. He sat down and I blew and stroked him underwater that time. I stroked him underwater and we both watched him cum. Watched his cum shoot out of his head in what looked like slow motion. Then I pulled him out of the water and licked him clean, plus making sure I dudn't miss any cum *wink*. The wife got home a little while later and we all had dinner.
So that was the last blowjob I gave. I miss doing it.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
The Tooth
I've had a toothache for a couple days now and it's really pissing me off. I finally got a dentist appointment made for next week, but I'm on my own until then. So I thought mayyyyyyybe jerking off would take my mind off it...
Nope.
Well it felt good of course but it didn't help my tooth. The wife wasn't much last night. She kind of hinted / intimated that sex might get my mind off it. Then we get upstairs and she said "Thinking about me being inside her while thinking about my tooth hurting weirds me out." So what would you say to that? I said, "OK, well I'll kiss you goodnight and go to the other bed then." And I did.
Well, I went into the other room anyway. I had taken some Advil PM medication to help me sleep since I was only able to get 2 hours the night before. I decided with the time I had left before I inevitably drifted off to sleep that I would stroke. Of course. What else did you think I'd do? You know how much I love to masturbate.
At that point I'm in the bed in the other room in my boxer briefs. I reach down and start rubbing my cock and I think back to a particular time in college..
*INITIATE WAYNE'S WORLD DREAM SEQUENCE START UP*
I had gone over to Michelle's house. I liked to go over and hang out with her family. They were all very nice to me. I found out later after we broke up that her little brother (maybe 7 or 8 at the time) really liked me and kept asking when I was coming back over. See????? I'm really a great guy! So we were in her room which was in their converted garage. We were sitting on her bed playing Crash Bandicoot (great game). The TV was at the foot of her bed on a shelf. Our traditional places for this was that I would sit across her bed with my back against the wall and she would kind of sit on my lap facing the TV. So her right side was against my chest. Her brother would sit on the floor between the bed and the TV. We always took turns playing. Her brother would play either a level or until he died, then he'd had Michelle the controller and she'd play, then my turn and then back to him. It was always a lot of fun. Believe me, it took longer to lay this out for you than to think it. So I didn't spend all this time thinking about the memory while I was getting hard LOL.
One of my favorite things to do was try to distract her while she was playing. She had rather large breasts for such a small person and I looooooooooooved them. I know all guys like boobs and I like them even more than that. As she was playing I liked to slide my hand up between her and the controller and tease the underside of her boob. Nomally she could handle that so I'd have to slide my fingers up to her nipple. Now I'm not always the most coordinated person and doing all that while trying to look like I'm watching the TV isn't as easy as it sounds lol. Once I found her nipple and rubbed it a little bit I almost always got her to die. Saying that makes me sound like a bad person! Don't worry, she returned the teasing though. Somehow I usually managed to live a bit longer while her smaller hand tickled, rubbed, and rolled my balls in my shorts. We'd get so worked up we'd have to stop so we could calm down while her brother was there LOL.
This particular time though Michelle's friend Crystal was over as well. I had met Crystal before and we had actually had a double-date with Michelle and I, and Crystal and my roommate Matt. They didn't hit it off as well as we thought they would.... Anyway.... Michelle and I were sitting a bit further down so Crystal could play too. I didn't get to play with her boobs but she moved a bit so I could rub and squeeze her ass. She let me know how much she liked it by kissing me any chance she got and licking my earlobe. God, that thought gives me shivers even now. I don't know what ancient chinese secret she knew but she had this way of licking and sucking my ears that could bring my unit back to attention no matter how many times I'd cum.
We played for a couple of hours and then it was time for her brother to head to bed. We said goodnight and Crystal got on Michelle's PC. Michelle and I "played" for another 15 minutes or so. That 15 minutes basically consisted of me teasing her seisitive nipples mercilessly while she rubbed the outline of my growing cock. Crystal was right there so I couldn't drop her on the bed and fuck her like she deserved. Michelle looked at me. Her eyes said she wanted something more and I wasn't going to disappoint her. We laid down with our feet down by Crystal (the PC was at the side of the foot of the bed). Michelle got on top of me and we started making out. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal. I've talked about more "adventurous" things. I don't know if it was because we were already so worked up or if it was because Crystal was sitting right there, but I'm pretty sure it was both.
Soon her legs slid to either side of mine and her pussy was rubbing my cock. I know, I know, both of us naked and me inside her might have seemed like it would be more fun, but it wouldn't have been nearly as erotic. She had on some small silky-feeling shorts and I was in basketball-style shorts. The feeling was amazing. I kept my hands at the sides of her breasts, squeezing them softly as she ground her pussy against me. She leaned her head down and asked if Crystal was watching. I pushed up against her as I looked through her hair and then told her that I could see her peeking even though she wasn't outright watching. That got Michelle a little wetter I think. It might have been my imagination but I thought I could almost feel how wet she was against me. I was so turned on I could barely think. Suddenly Michelle stopped grinding and just pushed down hard against me and kissed me passionately. I remember thinking, "holy fuck she's having an orgasm!" That was a big deal for me since we hadn't really done much that night( comparatively) and I was still pretty young. She only made a small sound though. She was trying to hard to be quiet. After she finished and her lips left mine I pulled her down and whispered I wasn't going to last much longer if we kept this up. She grinned and whispered back that she'd take care of that. Now I figured she'd just keep going and I'd finish in my shorts. I was very, very wrong. I thought because her friend was there she'd just keep going and I'd finish in my shorts. I was very, very wrong again. She scooted back down the bed quickly on her knees, putting her body almost level with Crystal as she sat at the computer. Michelle looked up at me as she pulled my shorts and underwear down over my cock and pushed her mouth down over my tip. No hands. She just moved her head and I disappeared. Well, most of me anyway. I didn't care if Crystal saw at that point. I lasted about a minute before I blew into Michelle's mouth. I usually cum more than the "average" I've been able to find online, but this was bigger than that. Having Crystal there had me unleashing apparently untapped stores of semen the size of baseballs LOL. It seemed like it anway. I remember feeling her swallow 3 times before I stopped shooting. She kept sucking me, never taking me out of her mouth, for another few minutes before releasing me and tucking my dick away again. I just laid there breathless as she came up and cuddled into me.
It was very quiet then. I don't think anyone knew what to say really. We looked at eachother again; a longer, more meaningful look, and I told her I should probably go home. She smiled and we decided to see eachother the next day (details of when and where). I said goodbye to Crystal and she said it too and I left.
*INITIATE WAYNE'S WORLD DREAM SEQUENCE END*
OK so maybe that wasn't exactly what I thought, but you wouldn't understand what I thought unless I described it like that. I concentrated on the feeling of passion and delight as I laid in that room running my fingers up and down my shaft. I felt my balls tighten and I jumped up, running to the attached bathroom so I could cum without having to clean up. I stood at the sink with my cock dangling over the edge into the sink and exploded. I pushed my shaft against the countertop/sink as I came, pumping it out of me. Quite a bit. I cleaned up a bit and washed it down and then fell asleep as my head hit the pillow. What do you think?
Fuck my tooth's hurting again. Damn oragel...
Nope.
Well it felt good of course but it didn't help my tooth. The wife wasn't much last night. She kind of hinted / intimated that sex might get my mind off it. Then we get upstairs and she said "Thinking about me being inside her while thinking about my tooth hurting weirds me out." So what would you say to that? I said, "OK, well I'll kiss you goodnight and go to the other bed then." And I did.
Well, I went into the other room anyway. I had taken some Advil PM medication to help me sleep since I was only able to get 2 hours the night before. I decided with the time I had left before I inevitably drifted off to sleep that I would stroke. Of course. What else did you think I'd do? You know how much I love to masturbate.
At that point I'm in the bed in the other room in my boxer briefs. I reach down and start rubbing my cock and I think back to a particular time in college..
*INITIATE WAYNE'S WORLD DREAM SEQUENCE START UP*
I had gone over to Michelle's house. I liked to go over and hang out with her family. They were all very nice to me. I found out later after we broke up that her little brother (maybe 7 or 8 at the time) really liked me and kept asking when I was coming back over. See????? I'm really a great guy! So we were in her room which was in their converted garage. We were sitting on her bed playing Crash Bandicoot (great game). The TV was at the foot of her bed on a shelf. Our traditional places for this was that I would sit across her bed with my back against the wall and she would kind of sit on my lap facing the TV. So her right side was against my chest. Her brother would sit on the floor between the bed and the TV. We always took turns playing. Her brother would play either a level or until he died, then he'd had Michelle the controller and she'd play, then my turn and then back to him. It was always a lot of fun. Believe me, it took longer to lay this out for you than to think it. So I didn't spend all this time thinking about the memory while I was getting hard LOL.
One of my favorite things to do was try to distract her while she was playing. She had rather large breasts for such a small person and I looooooooooooved them. I know all guys like boobs and I like them even more than that. As she was playing I liked to slide my hand up between her and the controller and tease the underside of her boob. Nomally she could handle that so I'd have to slide my fingers up to her nipple. Now I'm not always the most coordinated person and doing all that while trying to look like I'm watching the TV isn't as easy as it sounds lol. Once I found her nipple and rubbed it a little bit I almost always got her to die. Saying that makes me sound like a bad person! Don't worry, she returned the teasing though. Somehow I usually managed to live a bit longer while her smaller hand tickled, rubbed, and rolled my balls in my shorts. We'd get so worked up we'd have to stop so we could calm down while her brother was there LOL.
This particular time though Michelle's friend Crystal was over as well. I had met Crystal before and we had actually had a double-date with Michelle and I, and Crystal and my roommate Matt. They didn't hit it off as well as we thought they would.... Anyway.... Michelle and I were sitting a bit further down so Crystal could play too. I didn't get to play with her boobs but she moved a bit so I could rub and squeeze her ass. She let me know how much she liked it by kissing me any chance she got and licking my earlobe. God, that thought gives me shivers even now. I don't know what ancient chinese secret she knew but she had this way of licking and sucking my ears that could bring my unit back to attention no matter how many times I'd cum.
We played for a couple of hours and then it was time for her brother to head to bed. We said goodnight and Crystal got on Michelle's PC. Michelle and I "played" for another 15 minutes or so. That 15 minutes basically consisted of me teasing her seisitive nipples mercilessly while she rubbed the outline of my growing cock. Crystal was right there so I couldn't drop her on the bed and fuck her like she deserved. Michelle looked at me. Her eyes said she wanted something more and I wasn't going to disappoint her. We laid down with our feet down by Crystal (the PC was at the side of the foot of the bed). Michelle got on top of me and we started making out. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal. I've talked about more "adventurous" things. I don't know if it was because we were already so worked up or if it was because Crystal was sitting right there, but I'm pretty sure it was both.
Soon her legs slid to either side of mine and her pussy was rubbing my cock. I know, I know, both of us naked and me inside her might have seemed like it would be more fun, but it wouldn't have been nearly as erotic. She had on some small silky-feeling shorts and I was in basketball-style shorts. The feeling was amazing. I kept my hands at the sides of her breasts, squeezing them softly as she ground her pussy against me. She leaned her head down and asked if Crystal was watching. I pushed up against her as I looked through her hair and then told her that I could see her peeking even though she wasn't outright watching. That got Michelle a little wetter I think. It might have been my imagination but I thought I could almost feel how wet she was against me. I was so turned on I could barely think. Suddenly Michelle stopped grinding and just pushed down hard against me and kissed me passionately. I remember thinking, "holy fuck she's having an orgasm!" That was a big deal for me since we hadn't really done much that night( comparatively) and I was still pretty young. She only made a small sound though. She was trying to hard to be quiet. After she finished and her lips left mine I pulled her down and whispered I wasn't going to last much longer if we kept this up. She grinned and whispered back that she'd take care of that. Now I figured she'd just keep going and I'd finish in my shorts. I was very, very wrong. I thought because her friend was there she'd just keep going and I'd finish in my shorts. I was very, very wrong again. She scooted back down the bed quickly on her knees, putting her body almost level with Crystal as she sat at the computer. Michelle looked up at me as she pulled my shorts and underwear down over my cock and pushed her mouth down over my tip. No hands. She just moved her head and I disappeared. Well, most of me anyway. I didn't care if Crystal saw at that point. I lasted about a minute before I blew into Michelle's mouth. I usually cum more than the "average" I've been able to find online, but this was bigger than that. Having Crystal there had me unleashing apparently untapped stores of semen the size of baseballs LOL. It seemed like it anway. I remember feeling her swallow 3 times before I stopped shooting. She kept sucking me, never taking me out of her mouth, for another few minutes before releasing me and tucking my dick away again. I just laid there breathless as she came up and cuddled into me.
It was very quiet then. I don't think anyone knew what to say really. We looked at eachother again; a longer, more meaningful look, and I told her I should probably go home. She smiled and we decided to see eachother the next day (details of when and where). I said goodbye to Crystal and she said it too and I left.
*INITIATE WAYNE'S WORLD DREAM SEQUENCE END*
OK so maybe that wasn't exactly what I thought, but you wouldn't understand what I thought unless I described it like that. I concentrated on the feeling of passion and delight as I laid in that room running my fingers up and down my shaft. I felt my balls tighten and I jumped up, running to the attached bathroom so I could cum without having to clean up. I stood at the sink with my cock dangling over the edge into the sink and exploded. I pushed my shaft against the countertop/sink as I came, pumping it out of me. Quite a bit. I cleaned up a bit and washed it down and then fell asleep as my head hit the pillow. What do you think?
Fuck my tooth's hurting again. Damn oragel...
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Block
I've opened this up the past few days to write something... and nothing comes out. Every other minute of the day I can recount something that keeps my heart pumping faster. Every other minute of the day I get a little glimpse of some woman in the office and I quickly have a still photo of her topless in my head. My life's not terribly exciting now. Maybe that's it. I had the one-night stands and exciting adventures before I got married. I love my wife, and I'm in love with her, but she's not very adventorous.
She's fun and great and beautiful, but there's something not there. I'm the kind of person that wants to get sucked in the car on the way to work, or slowly fuck you in the backseat of the car at the drive-in. No, it's not because I'm a guy. It's about being a type of person, gender doesn't matter. Plenty of women want those things too. She does... occassionally.
Of course, having a child doesn't help the sex life. Any couple with kids can probably attest to that. Plus our child has some disabilities that require constant supervision, so we can't just let her play in the other room while mom's on her knees gobbling daddy's cock. I wouldn't say we don't have desire, we just have to keep finding new things to do.
Last night she offered butt-sex but I honestly just wanted to sleep. I've said before that I'm a nice guy so I was worried that by saying that I would make her feel bad or that I didn't think her ass was good enough. That's the kind of fucking shit I deal with. Her self-confidence is so bad that I have to always watch what I say in case it might be taken badly. It's not MY fault. I'm a builder; the kind of person that builds up the people around them. I do NOT tear down in any way. Why on earth would anyone do that to someone they love? I applaud and compliment and help. It's to the point in our relationship though where I don't really compliment her because I'm tired of having to convince her "I'm not just saying that". That I actually mean it. It's a lot of work and I don't have much energy for it. We've talked about before. Nothing really changes there though. So life goes on... and on... and on.
Now this is going to sound very, VERY bad; but I promised to be honest. It's even in the title of the blog. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if they were both in a car accident and died. I told you it was bad. I don't wonder fondly or anything like that. It's not like I'm plotting revenge or anything. Don't you wonder how your life might have turned out differently if something had or hadn't happened? Don't judge me too harshly. I don't want any hard to come to them. Gods no! My mind just wanders sometimes... I really can't imagine how sad I'd be.
Let me give you a little background on my daughter. We knew there were going to be problems very early on in the pregnancy. Around 32 weeks we went for a weekly checkup (because of the problems) and my daughter's heart rate was really low. So we went over to the hospital and had an unscheduled C-section immediately. Now we were very lucky. There are only two pediatric surgeons in our city, and they were both in that hospital at that time. My daughter went immediately from the C-section to an incubation table where they needed my permission to send her to surgery. I saw her for 5 seconds and told them to get her the fuck in there. She needed an airway immediately. She was born without a lower jaw. Think about that. She couldn't breathe so the surgeons had to put in a trach tube immediately. They also put in a feeding tube at the same time. She spent 6 weeks in the NICU and my wife didn't get to see her until... 6 hoursish after the C-section. We spent 5 days in the hospital for my wife to recover. So it's not been all fun and games with the kiddo. Meetings with doctors and plastic surgeons and respiratory therapists, and home healthcare and anyone else who wants in on this.
That's a bit of background. I'm a "deal with it and try to find something good" kind of person though. So I didn't break down and cry or lose it or anything like that. My wife cried a lot, but I didn't. I don't cry. What was the point? It wouldn't help; and I'm nothing if not logical. It can be a nuisance. Anyway, one night a couple years ago the wife and I went out driving after the nurse got there at 11pm to watch our daughter (11pm to 7am). We'd go out driving if we had things to talk about that would end up in an argument or yelling. I don't yell. Pointless if you're trying to get someone to come around to your way of thinking. So we're out driving and her whole problem was that I didn't seem to care about kiddo's development. I didn't know when she sound be sitting up or building things or stacking blocks or toilet-trained or when the car-seat should be turned around or any of a hundred things. She was right. I didn't know any of those things. I didn't particularly care about them either. My wife knew them so why should I learn them all? It's not like I can argue with "Turn seat around when child reaches ## pounds." So there wouldn't be a debate or anything over the knowledge. She was getting pretty mad at me because I said I really didn't care about any of that stuff and I was just happy to have to have kiddo there. We were then arguing about how much to feed her and whether to include puree food for extra calories. I may not remember this next part verbatim, but I think she said something like, "This stuff's important! What the hell's wrong with you that you don't care about it?!" I looked at her for a second and then said, "I don't care about any of that because I get to feed her. I get....to....feed.....her. She's here. She's alive, and none of that other stuff matters right now." I teared up and I knew they were coming down my cheeks. I looked straight down the road and she looked at me for a minute or two and then asked if I was OK to keep driving. I told her I was fine.
This is what happens when I start typing. I set out to tell you I couldn't come up with anything and now I've got a lot. I wish I knew if anyone was reading this...
She's fun and great and beautiful, but there's something not there. I'm the kind of person that wants to get sucked in the car on the way to work, or slowly fuck you in the backseat of the car at the drive-in. No, it's not because I'm a guy. It's about being a type of person, gender doesn't matter. Plenty of women want those things too. She does... occassionally.
Of course, having a child doesn't help the sex life. Any couple with kids can probably attest to that. Plus our child has some disabilities that require constant supervision, so we can't just let her play in the other room while mom's on her knees gobbling daddy's cock. I wouldn't say we don't have desire, we just have to keep finding new things to do.
Last night she offered butt-sex but I honestly just wanted to sleep. I've said before that I'm a nice guy so I was worried that by saying that I would make her feel bad or that I didn't think her ass was good enough. That's the kind of fucking shit I deal with. Her self-confidence is so bad that I have to always watch what I say in case it might be taken badly. It's not MY fault. I'm a builder; the kind of person that builds up the people around them. I do NOT tear down in any way. Why on earth would anyone do that to someone they love? I applaud and compliment and help. It's to the point in our relationship though where I don't really compliment her because I'm tired of having to convince her "I'm not just saying that". That I actually mean it. It's a lot of work and I don't have much energy for it. We've talked about before. Nothing really changes there though. So life goes on... and on... and on.
Now this is going to sound very, VERY bad; but I promised to be honest. It's even in the title of the blog. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if they were both in a car accident and died. I told you it was bad. I don't wonder fondly or anything like that. It's not like I'm plotting revenge or anything. Don't you wonder how your life might have turned out differently if something had or hadn't happened? Don't judge me too harshly. I don't want any hard to come to them. Gods no! My mind just wanders sometimes... I really can't imagine how sad I'd be.
Let me give you a little background on my daughter. We knew there were going to be problems very early on in the pregnancy. Around 32 weeks we went for a weekly checkup (because of the problems) and my daughter's heart rate was really low. So we went over to the hospital and had an unscheduled C-section immediately. Now we were very lucky. There are only two pediatric surgeons in our city, and they were both in that hospital at that time. My daughter went immediately from the C-section to an incubation table where they needed my permission to send her to surgery. I saw her for 5 seconds and told them to get her the fuck in there. She needed an airway immediately. She was born without a lower jaw. Think about that. She couldn't breathe so the surgeons had to put in a trach tube immediately. They also put in a feeding tube at the same time. She spent 6 weeks in the NICU and my wife didn't get to see her until... 6 hoursish after the C-section. We spent 5 days in the hospital for my wife to recover. So it's not been all fun and games with the kiddo. Meetings with doctors and plastic surgeons and respiratory therapists, and home healthcare and anyone else who wants in on this.
That's a bit of background. I'm a "deal with it and try to find something good" kind of person though. So I didn't break down and cry or lose it or anything like that. My wife cried a lot, but I didn't. I don't cry. What was the point? It wouldn't help; and I'm nothing if not logical. It can be a nuisance. Anyway, one night a couple years ago the wife and I went out driving after the nurse got there at 11pm to watch our daughter (11pm to 7am). We'd go out driving if we had things to talk about that would end up in an argument or yelling. I don't yell. Pointless if you're trying to get someone to come around to your way of thinking. So we're out driving and her whole problem was that I didn't seem to care about kiddo's development. I didn't know when she sound be sitting up or building things or stacking blocks or toilet-trained or when the car-seat should be turned around or any of a hundred things. She was right. I didn't know any of those things. I didn't particularly care about them either. My wife knew them so why should I learn them all? It's not like I can argue with "Turn seat around when child reaches ## pounds." So there wouldn't be a debate or anything over the knowledge. She was getting pretty mad at me because I said I really didn't care about any of that stuff and I was just happy to have to have kiddo there. We were then arguing about how much to feed her and whether to include puree food for extra calories. I may not remember this next part verbatim, but I think she said something like, "This stuff's important! What the hell's wrong with you that you don't care about it?!" I looked at her for a second and then said, "I don't care about any of that because I get to feed her. I get....to....feed.....her. She's here. She's alive, and none of that other stuff matters right now." I teared up and I knew they were coming down my cheeks. I looked straight down the road and she looked at me for a minute or two and then asked if I was OK to keep driving. I told her I was fine.
This is what happens when I start typing. I set out to tell you I couldn't come up with anything and now I've got a lot. I wish I knew if anyone was reading this...
Friday, August 2, 2013
Erotic Writings
Does anyone else find erotic literature better than video at times? I'm a very imaginative person and while I wholeheartedly love watching porn, sometimes I want to read a good erotic story. Specifically I like the site literotica.com. Wow.
OK, my favorite section is the incest/taboo section. Now I don't have any incest fantasties, I don't want to fuck my mom and siblings. So let me tell you why I like it. So many of the other stories are very impersonal. I mean we all know the sterotypical porn shot, "Plumber shows up to 'fix pipes' and ends up banging the housewife." I just don't find that very fun to read. It's empty. I want the people to have some kind of connection. A story about a friend that has a decade long affair with his friend's wife would be much better. For me though, it still doesn't compare to a story about brother and sister going wild on a camping trip or something like that. That has more "oomph".
Don't call me a pervert or anything. No I'm not a pervert unless you don't have a very open mind. Get over your disgust about the incest stories and read a few. Literotica has user rating for them and you can definitely tell the difference between a 4-star and a 3-star. Night and day. One of my absolutely favorites is a very large series called "Just the Six of Us". It's like 20-something parts with multiple pages to each part. If I'm getting bored around the porn sites (of which I have bookmarked a large number) then I'll flip to Literotica and can basically choose when I want to cum.
Are there other sites you like to read? I mean video category sites are a dime a dozen, but a good story site can be harder to come by.
Do you have any stories you'd like to share? You can post a comment and we'd all love to read. Well, I don't know anyone else reads this, but I'DDDDDDDD like to read LOL.
Thanks.
OK, my favorite section is the incest/taboo section. Now I don't have any incest fantasties, I don't want to fuck my mom and siblings. So let me tell you why I like it. So many of the other stories are very impersonal. I mean we all know the sterotypical porn shot, "Plumber shows up to 'fix pipes' and ends up banging the housewife." I just don't find that very fun to read. It's empty. I want the people to have some kind of connection. A story about a friend that has a decade long affair with his friend's wife would be much better. For me though, it still doesn't compare to a story about brother and sister going wild on a camping trip or something like that. That has more "oomph".
Don't call me a pervert or anything. No I'm not a pervert unless you don't have a very open mind. Get over your disgust about the incest stories and read a few. Literotica has user rating for them and you can definitely tell the difference between a 4-star and a 3-star. Night and day. One of my absolutely favorites is a very large series called "Just the Six of Us". It's like 20-something parts with multiple pages to each part. If I'm getting bored around the porn sites (of which I have bookmarked a large number) then I'll flip to Literotica and can basically choose when I want to cum.
Are there other sites you like to read? I mean video category sites are a dime a dozen, but a good story site can be harder to come by.
Do you have any stories you'd like to share? You can post a comment and we'd all love to read. Well, I don't know anyone else reads this, but I'DDDDDDDD like to read LOL.
Thanks.
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