Saturday, July 20, 2013

Facts

Did you know that whatever you touch after touching your balls ends up smelling like your balls? Obvious right? Somehow I always forget though...

So I've been married for roughly 6 years. Not exact, but close enough to get the idea across. I love my wife, and I generally think of myself as a good man. Then I get horny. My little head does the thinking, and he's only interested in puking his guts out.

I've always been a very horny dude. Stroking 3 or 4 times a day in high school, upping to 5 or 6 in college.

I've still always thought of myself as a fundamentally "good man". I've done things though that I probably shouldn't be proud of; and I'm not necessary proud of them. I'm not really ashamed of them though. Back in 2000-2001 I was dating two women at the same time. I'm not sure exactly where the moral compass was at the time, but I didn't feel very guilty.

Michelle and Kristi. Michelle was pretty quiet, very short, and had remarkable breasts. She was a little down on herself sometimes, but she'd had a hard time in high school. Kristi was VERY apprehensive about meeting new people (she had great breasts too). She was in a wheelchair and her legs didn't work. I don't remember how I talked her into it. I met her at a local mall and (this part does shame me to remember) I walked right by her the first time I saw her. I hadn't seen a pic so I didn't know what she looked like. You'd think the big fucking wheelchair would have given it away though, right? Anyway, she was embarrassed and I was an asshole. Two days later she gave me the first of many, many blowjobs.

I saw both of them pretty regularly. I never seemed to have a problem keeping them separate and not overlapping. Michelle was actually the first woman I had sex with. Well, we were each other's firsts. It was very good, and very bonding. I think I could have stayed with Michelle longer than I did. Kristi liked to buy me things. I never asked for them, and I couldn't say "no". She was so happy when she gave them to me. Nothing expensive... some movies (that I still have) and some CDs (that I don't still have). Even worse, because of her handicap she couldn't really work. So the money was from babysitting her siblings. You can stone me later.

How can I reconcile the fact that I feel like I'm a good human being, with just the things I've mentioned here? I haven't even TOLD you what we used to do, or anything else. Rereading this alone makes me sound like someone I don't like. Yet I did these things. When I started writing this I had a hardon. I had just watched someone on cam4.com. It's gone now. Not because I'm ashamed or guilty. Even now I look back on those memories fondly and enjoy the time I spent with those two ladies. How can that be? I'm thoughtful, romantic, caring... but I do bad things sometimes. Even now I'm watching another cam while I slowly get hard again. My wife is sleeping in the bedroom. We're not in a position where we can have sex, or really do anything naughty at all. Plus I've already cum this morning, and I'll cum again later.

I don't know what this was supposed to be about. If you have an opinion I'd be happy to hear a comment. I'm thinking this might be the direction I write in.

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